Despite the coy nod to the Park’s absence of feathered friends (since 1996 by all accounts) Petrel Park once DID have a family of Petrels surviving on the grounds, near the far back over by the mill where they later put the chemical refinery in 1995. Fun fact: It’s far away and not smelly enough to put off residents.

Notable residents of the Petrel Park estates, as they were briefly referred to in the Epilogue to nothing ever written, include:

• Donald Lamontier, clear air activist, noted lover of children* and hot carob syrup, which formed the base to his cocoa-resilient empire Carobis Ltd;
• Louis Armstrong – esteemed baccarat champion and bovine masseur;
• Chris Evert – television presenter from 1969-1972 on ANBC’s children’s programme network affiliate;
• Pol McCartney – air conditioning magnate, ventilation repairman and near field hockey champion playing tight end for the Morrowvale Ducts.

*Editor’s Correction, Lamontier was NOT a lover, but an admirer of children.