Formerly known and established as the Borough of Swanley, the only remnant vestige of its former history remains in the Tube stop still bearing the original name, and a famous local resident or two to preserve its territoriality. Singer Loni Entrada owns a home studio overlooking the ditch at Shrike Street (“Brilliant acoustics,” she howls), local sound and electronic recording artists Rhythm Factory with their state of the art Pipeline Studio, overlooking “the lovely wet bit near Swanley Gate, where it’s always gone damp and sounds like we should be hearing gannets”, mourns local studio owner Jupiter Jenkins, and fine artist Graham Woodley, whose elegant studio property along its inner perimeter, faces the statue in Victor Square (oft-pranked, so don’t go getting any new ideas), where a likeness on pedestal of city architect and former Lord Mayor of Morrowvale Victor Austerity Jones, points towards a shining future, while looking back (perhaps all-too sardonically) upon a local past – of shame and reclusivity based on the number of ready-mades abandoned comically in its vicinity

Green Park is over 20 acres of manicured land, paved lanes and makes for a truly romantic spot for an impromptu marriage proposal – or walkies with your basset hound at 4 am, it’s very safe when the little guy stops to make doo doo with those tiny little short legs, you wouldn’t want to rush him – It even poses as the uncredited location for numerous programmes on telly you’ve probably seen and shot locally in Morrowvale — though filming requires permits so don’t get any ideas, Instagrammers, you’re on your own. There, I’ve probably said too much.